Banned from zoo.
Again?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
