All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
