i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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