If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize