Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
