I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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