He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
