I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
bring money and cleavage
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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