just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
