She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Dear god my vagina.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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