I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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