We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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