That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
