this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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