Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
