I can text with my tongue
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
