I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
