come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
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if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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