You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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