biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
