I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
