She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Pooping to opera.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
