we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I am available for nakedness
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