Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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