Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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