so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
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The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
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Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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