and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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