the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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