She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
