whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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