please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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