Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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