how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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