someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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