like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
