Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
