But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
