I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
