oh god the rape fog is back!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
