shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
