Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
