It's Friday. Sex?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my sisters under your porch take her home
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
