"it" just moved
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
