woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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