Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
