All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
