Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize