She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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