the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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