She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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