Michael Bay diarrhea
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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