it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize