**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
