Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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