when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
