I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
