im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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