Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
