Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
