Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
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Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
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I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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