I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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