Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
