"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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