I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
