im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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